20
Sep

An Open Letter to the girl who accidentally found my blog…

You googled “Can I do baptisms for the dead when I’m having my period?”  and you found this.  And then you stayed for 18 minutes and read 11 posts…  I’m assuming you are deep in throws of your teenage years, attending Young Women’s and trying to feel the spirit.  I would kill to know if you laughed when you read my blog, or if you read in horror and think I’m a terrible person.   Whatever you think, I’m at least happy to have provided you with the knowledge that no, you cannot do baptisms for the dead when you have your period.

I have often wondered what life would have been like had I had access to a computer and the all mighty Google as a teenager.  I probably would have watched a ton of porn and felt terrible about it, that’s for sure.   I’m also sure that had I found examples of all the falsehoods portrayed in the church it would have made me a miserable, fighting machine with the folks.  There is no way I would have been able to grin it and bear it the way I did.  When I was leaving the church the world was still in dial up mode, and I was a broke girl trying to make it in NYC without one single cent available for luxuries like a computer and fancy dial up modem.   My exodus out of the church was more about acknowledging that I didn’t believe anymore, and that I wouldn’t shoot straight into Outer Darkness for drinking a Dr. Pepper.  Or having a three way.  In a way, I’m glad I didn’t know then what I know now.  Being a teenager was hard enough as it was.

And so to you, young maiden with the unlucky menstrual timing, I offer these words of advice: HANG IN THERE.  If you read my blog and thought it was funny, just hang in there.  Your time will come as soon as you graduate high school and gain some control of your destiny, I promise.  And honey, if you read my blog and it made you mad it’s your own damn fault for reading it in the first place.   Time to tighten up that internet filter….

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This entry was posted on Monday, September 20th, 2010 at 12:14 am and is filed under Random Musings.

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comments

3
  1. September 20th, 2010 | TrillianM says:

    <3

  2. September 20th, 2010 | Urban Koda says:

    Love it!!

  3. September 20th, 2010 | becky says:

    Baptisms for the dead while on your period. Something disturbing about that image. ;-P