The shame! The horror!!

Last night I was filled with hate.   I  willingly sat and watched Danielle from The Real Housewives of New Jersey repeatedly try to show the world her anus.  I sat in front of my tv and shoved mouthfuls of pomegranate Pinkberry into my face while fantasizing that it was a Dominoes Hot Chocolate Lava cake.  From time to time I gagged at what I saw on the tv but nothing could stop me from pounding my Pinkberry.  God, that sounds filthy.  Anyway, Danielle was pretending that she was shy, that she needed her girlfriends to take her out shopping for lingerie and to take a pole dancing class to see if she’s still “got it”, but methinks the real motivator in this situation is that she was dying to expose her entire asshole and general genital/anal regions on national tv.   When she looked at her busted Rick Springfield lookalike bodyguard dude and said: “Connect, Suggest”  I almost picked up the tv in a hulk like rage and threw it out the window.  Like I said, I was filled with hate.

But let’s take a look at this whole situation a little closer…  There I was, gorging on a supposedly low calorie dessert.  Pinkberry isn’t “bad” for you if you eat it like a normal person.  But I don’t do anything like a normal person.  When I want Pinkberry I want a LARGE one, drizzled in honey and covered in milk chocolate shavings and strawberries.  So maybe I was feeling a little bad about myself as I watched this 50 year old crazy person grind a pole in cheeky panties that would barely cover one of my  cheeks.  THE HORROR!!! THE FURY!

I think that is why I’m so mad.  It’s not really about Danielle’s anus at all.  It’s about my Pinkberry addiction and my lack of cheeky panties.  I think that if I were in middle school I would be told that  I am blowing out Danielle’s candle in order to make mine burn brighter.

But still.  I gotta say it….

Prostitution whore!

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This entry was posted on Tuesday, June 15th, 2010 at 6:13 pm and is filed under Random Musings.

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  1. June 21st, 2010 | Becky says:

    Would’ve been awesome if you had had the hulk rage and thrown the tv out the window. lol

  2. June 30th, 2010 | Andrew S says:

    It’s definitely about Danielle’s anus.