22
Apr

Larry King and the no Secret Underpants wearin’ Un-Mormon…

Ok, what is up with all this Larry King and his Mormon wife bullshit?

Her!?  Mormon?  Maybe she was raised Mormon, but who are we kidding here?  I’m not Mormon anymore, but I think I might still be more Mormon than she is.  And  I drink  booze,  think gays should be able to marry legally, watch R rated movies and I’ve even  had a three way.  C’mon!  Be serious, you’ve never looked around sacrament meeting and seen anyone who looks like that.   And anyway, where are her garments!  I know she wasn’t married in the temple, but still.  You can see all her boobs and I’m pretty sure we’d see labia if the photo weren’t cropped.   It’s dangerous business, running around without your secret underpants.  What if she was in a fire at the Vanity Fair party?  Without her garments on, Heavenly Father would have no idea that she was Mormon and that he should protect her body from the neck down to just above her knees.  Although I might be wrong about this- I never got a clear answer from my mom on this one- does Heavenly Father protect everything that your garments cover, or does he only protect the nipples and crotch area where the special markings are?

Anyway…

Now we hear that Larry is kicking it Joseph Smith style and jumping on the bed with Shawn’s sister.  I think this is hilarious.  Who knows?  Maybe all the Mormonism rubbed off on Larry and he had a revelation that they should practice the principle…  But then we hear that Shawn has been jumping on the bed with her and Larry’s kids baseball coach.  In Larry’s bed.  Proves my point even more- this lady is unlike any Mormon woman I’ve ever known.   She doesn’t look depressed, I doubt she sends one of her children out to buy her a Snickers bar everyday at 4pm and, ummm, the boobs!!!  Jesus!  Look at those boobs!

I’m just sayin’….

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This entry was posted on Thursday, April 22nd, 2010 at 10:10 pm and is filed under Random Musings.

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comments

3
  1. May 18th, 2010 | Mindy says:

    Ummmm…..those boobs can’t be real….can they? Do Mormon women buys their boobs too?
    I wonder when the prophets are going to announce that women can only have the set of boobs they were born with….just a thought…GREAT BLOG

  2. October 3rd, 2010 | Nancy Oaks says:

    It annoys me so much when people say celebrities are Mormon when they’re obviously RAISED MORMON. I think you stop being a Mormon the moment you stop believing in its teachings. Records in Salt Lake mean nothing. This bitch is an APOSTATE Mormon, if anything.

    /rant

  3. October 3rd, 2010 | Secret Underpants says:

    True that ladies! You BOTH are correct… In my book at least…